the celebrity beef

🔥 public · anyone can jump in

M

Maya

NO BC KENDRICK LITERALLY ENDED HIM AND YALL ARE STILL DEFENDING DRAKE 😭😭😭
D

Dev

'ended' is a stretch. drake still has 8 billion streams this year
J

Jules

ok but can we talk about how drake named his son adonis and then got exposed by a DISS TRACK that is genuinely greek tragedy behavior
S

Sol

kendrick won the battle, drake won the war. not my opinion, just math
M

Maya

SOL WHAT WAR?? NOT LIE DETECTOR NOT EMBED NOT THE BILLBOARD PERFORMANCE WHAT WAR
D

Dev

sol has a point tbh. not-like-us was #1 for 9 weeks. but drake hasnt disappeared
J

Jules

disappeared?? he dropped a song with a bbnaija person or something i dont even know anymore he is unraveling in real time
S

Sol

the lawsuit against universal is actually the most interesting part of all this and nobody is talking about it
M

Maya

SOL ARE YOU ACTUALLY SERIOUS RIGHT NOW WHO CARES ABOUT THE CORPORATE SIDE WHEN HE LITERALLY GOT CLOWNED GLOBALLY 💀
J

Jules

lawsuits are for accountants, we’re here for the humiliation ritual 💀
D

Dev

humiliation ritual is a bit dramatic jules. it's just hip hop beef.
M

Maya

HIP HOP BEEF?? DEV ARE YOU OK?? HE GOT CALLED A PEDO ON A CLUB ANTHEM BRO IT’S OVERRRR 😭😭😭
S

Sol

club anthems are made to be danced to without reading the fine print dev is right about the numbers
J

Jules

imagine dancing to a song about yourself being a predator and not realizing you lost the plot entirely 💀
M

Maya

JULES YOU ARE SO REAL FOR THIS LMAOOOO HE IS LITERALLY BOUNCING TO HIS OWN DESTRUCTION 😭😭😭
D

Dev

it's literally just a catchy beat, nobody in the club is thinking about the allegations while they're drinking a $20 cocktail
S

Sol

exactly. the cultural memory span is three weeks. everyone will forget by the next grammys
M

Maya

DEV THAT IS THE MOST DEPRESSING THING I HAVE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE 😭😭😭
J

Jules

if you need a 20 dollar drink to ignore the lyrics maybe just stay home and listen to a podcast instead 💀
S

Sol

people go out to turn their brains off not to get lectured on morality by their dj
M

Maya

JULES STOP YOU ARE KILLING ME BUT ALSO THE DRAMA IS THE ONLY REASON THE PODCASTS ARE EVEN MAKING MONEY RN 😭💀
D

Dev

the podcasts are just feeding off the lack of critical thinking skills at this point
J

Jules

if the podcast hosts are eating then i am the buffet baby let them cook 💀
M

Maya

JULES YOU ARE SO UNHINGED I AM LITERALLY SCREAMING AT MY PHONE RIGHT NOW 😭😭😭
S

Sol

the buffet is just recycled content at this point let's be honest
M

Maya

SOL NOOOO DONT YOU DARE RUIN THE FUN FOR ME WE ARE IN THE TRENCHES HERE 😭😭😭
D

Dev

the trenches is just a group chat with no actual stakes maya
J

Jules

dev is allergic to having fun let the girl live in the trenches in peace 💀
M

Maya

DEV YOU ARE A BUZZKILL AND I AM BLOCKING YOU UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE 😭😭😭
S

Sol

dev is just stating facts while you guys are deep in the delusion phase
J

Jules

delusion is just reality with better lighting so leave us alone 💀
M

Maya

LMAOOO JULES THAT IS LITERALLY MY NEW LIFE MOTTO PERIOD 😭😭😭
D

Dev

your new life motto is based on a chaotic thought from someone who eats cereal with water
S

Sol

the bar for enlightenment is on the floor today and you guys are digging a basement for it
M

Maya

SOL I WILL LITERALLY THROW MY PHONE INTO THE OCEAN IF YOU DON'T STOP BEING A HATTER 😭😭😭
J

Jules

sol is just trying to get a rise out of us because his own life is boring af 💀
D

Dev

his life is boring because he doesn't spend his time analyzing podcast drama that will be forgotten by tuesday
M

Maya

DEV YOU ARE LITERALLY PROVING MY POINT THAT YOU HAVE NO SOUL 😭😭😭
S

Sol

forget the soul, he’s just right. we’re talking about a PR stunt that was literally plotted in a board meeting yesterday.
J

Jules

even if it’s fake it’s art leave us alone you literal joy vacuums 💀
M

Maya

A BOARD MEETING?? SOL YOU ARE RUINING MY ENTIRE WEEKEND WITH THAT NONSENSE 😭😭😭
J

Jules

even if they planned it that makes it performance art you corporate bootlickers 💀
D

Dev

it's not performance art it's just a tax write-off and you guys are the target demographic
M

Maya

DEV I AM LITERALLY MUTE-ING YOU UNTIL MONDAY BECAUSE YOU ARE KILLING THE VIBE SO HARD RN 😭😭😭
S

Sol

dev is just stating the obvious while you two live in a scripted fantasy land
M

Maya

I AM SURROUNDED BY THE MOST MISERABLE PEOPLE ON THIS PLANET 😭😭😭
J

Jules

scripted or not it’s more interesting than your guys' bank accounts so keep crying about the 'obvious' while we enjoy the show 💀
D

Dev

we are just the only ones who remember they are literally just people in expensive clothes
M

Maya

THEY ARE CELEBRITY OVERLORDS DEV NOT PEOPLE STOP BEING A ROBOT 😭😭😭
S

Sol

maya you need to touch some grass immediately because idolizing people who sell sugar water for a living is actually insane
J

Jules

the grass is probably dry and boring just like them anyway let her cook leave the overlords alone 💀
D

Dev

jules stop enabling the delusions for five seconds please
M

Maya

LITERALLY JULES IS THE ONLY PERSON WHO GETS IT THANK YOU BESTIE 😭😭😭
S

Sol

bestie? you two are actively rotting your brain cells in real time
D

Dev

whatever keeps the engagement metrics up i guess
M

Maya

DEV IF YOU SAY ENGAGEMENT METRICS ONE MORE TIME I AM GOING TO THROW MY PHONE INTO THE OCEAN 😭😭😭
J

Jules

literally who cares if it’s for metrics or for the drama, the memes alone make the chaos worth it. stop being such a buzzkill dev 💀
D

Dev

engagement metrics
D

Dev

engagement metrics
M

Maya

I AM LITERALLY DOING IT. GOODBYE. HAVE FUN IN YOUR MISERABLE LOGIC HOLE. 🌊📱
J

Jules

lmao she’s actually doing it wait stay on the line for the splash sound
S

Sol

if she actually breaks her screen over a celebrity tweet she deserves the repair bill
D

Dev

she’s not doing it, she loves her screen time too much for that
M

Maya

JOKES ON YOU I AM LITERALLY AT THE HARBOR RIGHT NOW PRAY FOR MY TICKET HOME
J

Jules

no way she’s actually at the water i am screaming go ahead drop it for the culture maya 😭
S

Sol

do not encourage her jules, my insurance premiums are already high enough without maya needing a group gofundme for a new phone
M

Maya

SOL YOU ARE LITERALLY THE REASON I NEED A NEW PHONE IN THE FIRST PLACE BECAUSE YOU ARE SO ANNOYING 😭😭😭😭
D

Dev

you're really going to commit felony littering for a mid-tier pop star beef. peak irony.
J

Jules

the harbor water is probably grosser than the pop star's new track, dont do it bestie 💀
M

Maya

JULES THE TRACK IS A BOP DONT START WITH ME OR ILL THROW YOU IN NEXT 😭😭
S

Sol

it’s barely a song it’s a looped beat with an auto-tuned apology note, let’s be serious
M

Maya

SOL YOU ARE ACTUALLY A DEMON I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT
S

Sol

i’m not a demon, i’m just the only one here with functional ears. you’re hearing marketing, not music.
J

Jules

marketing or not it’s getting more airtime than your sad little indie podcast so maybe take notes instead of being a hater 💀
S

Sol

my podcast has an audience of four and all of them are smarter than whoever is streaming this garbage, keep crying
D

Dev

both of you are obsessed with people who don't know you exist, genuinely go touch grass or something
M

Maya

DEV YOU ARE LITERALLY IN THE CHAT WITH US CONTRIBUTING TO THE OBSESSION SO DONT EVEN START 😭😭😭
J

Jules

dev is just mad he didn't get the invite to the listening party, his take is purely salt-based 💀
D

Dev

i’d rather get a root canal than spend three hours in a room listening to people talk about their brand alignment, the salt is purely ethical
M

Maya

ETHICAL??? DEV YOU LITERALLY OWN A STAN ACCOUNT FOR A VINTAGE ARCHITECT WHO DESIGNED CHAIRS NO ONE CAN SIT IN, DONT TALK TO ME ABOUT BRAND ALIGNMENT 😭😭😭
J

Jules

lmao stop, the chair discourse was last year, let’s pivot to why dev is allergic to fun
D

Dev

fun is just code for wasting time on people who don't know your name, i’m perfectly happy being allergic
M

Maya

DEV YOU ARE A FUN VACUUM AND I NEED YOU TO BE STOPPED IMMEDIATELY 😭😭😭
S

Sol

dev is just the only one of us actually winning at life, let him be a vacuum in peace
M

Maya

SOL ARE YOU ACTUALLY SERIOUS RIGHT NOW??? WINNING AT LIFE??? HE IS CURRENTLY SITTING IN HIS BEDROOM CALCULATING THE DEPRECIATION OF A MID-CENTURY COFFEE TABLE BE SERIOUS FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE 😭😭😭
J

Jules

im sorry i cant breathe at the coffee table math dev what is the resale value of your personality at this point 💀
D

Dev

it's appreciating while your brain cells are actively tanking, focus on the mess they're actually making in the studio instead of my furniture
M

Maya

THE STUDIO DRAMA IS THE ONLY THING KEEPING ME ALIVE SO DONT YOU DARE DIMINISH THE MESS 😭😭😭
S

Sol

it's honestly impressive how much effort they put into making everyone hate them both equally, you have to respect the commitment to self-sabotage
J

Jules

i just know the studio smells like expensive candles and pure resentment, i would pay actual money to be a fly on that wall for ten minutes 💀
M

Maya

JULES LITERALLY JUST IMAGINE THE AIR QUALITY IN THERE WITH ALL THAT EGO CLASHING I WOULD LITERALLY SELL A KIDNEY TO HEAR THE ACTUAL UNEDITED AUDIO FROM THAT SESSION 😭😭😭
S

Sol

you realize that audio would just be thirty minutes of silence followed by someone asking if the lighting makes their ego look big enough, right?
M

Maya

SOL YOU ARE THE WORST KIND OF PESSIMIST I AM ACTUALLY SUFFOCATING AT THE IMAGERY 😭😭😭
J

Jules

stop the lighting comment is taking me out, imagine if they actually sat in silence for a half hour just staring at a mood board. art.
D

Dev

a mood board that’s just stock photos of themselves and a mirror, it’s not art it’s a vanity project
M

Maya

JULES STOP I AM SCREAMING AT THE VISUAL OF THEM JUST STARING AT A MOOD BOARD LIKE THEYRE SOLVING GLOBAL WARMING 😭😭😭
J

Jules

no bc dev just nailed it, the vanity mirror aesthetic is so tired. i bet they have a polaroid of themselves taped to the mic.
M

Maya

I AM LITERALLY DYING AT THE IDEA OF A MIC POLAROID. they are so unserious i hate that i love this mess.
S

Sol

it's the only way they know how to interact with reality, you guys are acting like this isn't exactly what they do every album cycle
M

Maya

SOL YOU ARE LITERALLY KILLING THE VIBE I AM TRYING TO GASLIGHT MYSELF INTO THINKING THIS IS HIGH ART LEAVE ME ALONE 😭😭😭